In the interests of full disclosure before I start this: I love Apple. The company makes beautiful technology that is a joy to use. In fact, I’m writing this on a MacBook, and it might just be the best thing I’ve ever bought.
But recently, what with all the brouhaha around the – in my opinion lovely looking but probably fairly pointless – iPad and now iPhone 4 fever, I’m getting a little cheesed off with its marketing.
The clapping staff in the shops, applauding customers as if they’ve just crossed the finish line after 26 gruelling miles simply for buying what is essentially, as Charlie Brooker coined it, the World’s Most Expensive Rectangle; getting the world’s tallest couple, for some asinine and inexplicable reason, to dress in wedding threads and embrace on the store’s steps while holding up ‘their’ new tablets – it’s all getting a bit smug, a bit silly.
But the straw that broke the camel’s back was this message the firm gleefully emailed me today:
Now come on, Apple, seriously? What’s the thinking here, that you can say anything you want as long as it’s written in sleek sans serif under a big picture of a shiny new gadget? If so then what’s next, ‘iPhone 4: made in space’? ‘iPhone 4: contains angels’ souls’? ‘iPhone 4: yes, you really are going to buy this even though you’ve got three virtually identical ones in a drawer at home’?
And is it just me, or have the company’s marketing people become so sure of their new products’ inevitable success that they’ve actually started to be visibly bored of their own bombastic spiel in the actual advertising? That again right after ‘this changes everything’ seems to suggest so. It’s so nonchalant it’s almost sarcastic.
Martin Luther King was revolutionary. The iPad isn’t. Steam power and the combustion engine changed everything. The fourth iPhone doesn’t. Stop it now Apple and get back to making cool stuff without the ego, please.