A short note to anyone still talking about the Christmas number one

Bored, bored, bored of all this Christmas number one nonsense now.

Here is a quick message to everyone involved:

Simon Cowell, X-Factor fans et al: Stop being so indignant. No one has the automatic right to a number one single just because they’ve spent a bit of their life spinelessly singing tedious cover versions on a never-ending TV show. People who are buying other singles aren’t “ruining poor Joe’s dream”; they’re just making the charts work like they’re supposed to. It’s called competition.

If the smirking little Geordie can’t achieve his dream under the same conditions as everyone else who wants a shot at fame, he doesn’t fucking deserve it.

Everyone else: Yes, it probably would be a bit funny if a song with lots of swearing was number one at Christmas. But spending 79p on a track owned by Sony on Apple’s competition-stifling iTunes website is not an anti-establishment manoeuvre. Organising a “rebellion” on a social networking site used by millions of people around the world isn’t, either. Stop being so proud of yourselves.

Rage’s song is a good one, but hundreds of thousands of people joining an internet group to manufacture a number one to stop another manufactured act nabbing the top spot is inane and hypocritical. Buy some new music that you actually want instead.

And shut up about all this now, please.


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