Murray denies losing Lethal Weapon 2 haircut sparked downfall

babyostrich-v1-1ANDY MURRAY has hit back at renewed claims he has experienced a serious deterioration in his tennis ability since he stopped wearing Mel Gibson’s haircut from Lethal Weapon 2.

The No2 seed crashed out of his US Open fourth-round match today in straight sets, with spectators leaving the court describing the Scot’s Croatian opponent Marin Cilic as “better at tennis”.

The 22-year-old half man, half ostrich has long been touted as the likeliest candidate to bring an end to Britain’s losing streak in the snooty sport. Posh Brits, determined to put years of pretending to like floppy no-hoper Tim Henman and his stupid Hill behind them, had high hopes for Murray, but his latest defeat has again sparked debate on whether he should have ever returned the movie mullet to its former owner.

Earlier, an upbeat Murray rebuffed the claims. “It has nothing to do with Gibson’s hair – mentally I’m very strong,” he said. “Today I could have been better in every part of the game. Especially in getting points.”

Critics, however, have accused him of “burying his head in the sand” on the issue.

“He never should have let Mel have his hair back. The whole situation’s a travesty; it’s like Samson and Delilah all over again. But with racquets,” said one fan.

Murray, abandoned as a chick after his father, an ostrich, was made into organic burgers and sold to moneyed idiots at farmers’ markets around the country, was found malnourished by the British Domesticated Ostrich Association (BDOA) in 1988. The group nursed him back to health and forced him to learn tennis.

Mel Gibson was today unavailable for comment, but a BDOA insider was earlier quoted as saying: “We have grave suspicions concerning Gibson’s intentions now he has been reunited with his Lethal Weapon hair. He knows the power that lies in that cut, and we can only conclude he’s planning to compete at Wimbledon next year”.


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